you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
