ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
