okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
