please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
