You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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