Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
