the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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