Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
