so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dude. I can hear the air.
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