Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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