I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
