she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
