new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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