Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
