I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
