Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
