Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
