I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
