I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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