Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
where are my eyebrows?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
