did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
