I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
