I wanna bring you to show and tell
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize