I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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