ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
