I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We had sex on a dog bed..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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