I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
