I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
