you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I puked a lego.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
