I'm jealous of your bromance
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
should my penis look like a turkey
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
