your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
