i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
