I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
