got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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