sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
