Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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