Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
