BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
two words...techno handjob
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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