C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you inspire me to be a worse person
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
