I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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