They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
