shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize