She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
