The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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