I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
