Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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