Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
