If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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