You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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