accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You are the jesus of drinking
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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