i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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