put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
