Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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