never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
