atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
