he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
