For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
