I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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