On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
