so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize