it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
