And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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